Ramblings - Rain

It’s raining again. It’s a torrential, unrelenting, dark, soaking rain. I hear it beating on the roof with some rolling thunder in the distance. I normally don't mind the rain, which is good since it comes every afternoon almost like clock-work. However, today it feels like a physical manifestation of my soul. It’s as if all of nature is reflecting the despair and brokenness of this fallen world. It’s not just the death, disease, earthquakes, tsunamis, tornados, hurricanes, that we've heard about, or witnessed first hand since my last “Ramblings”. It’s the spiritual warfare that beats down on your soul. A few days ago I was walking through downtown San Jose, when I noticed one of the young women I know from Juan Pablo. (She is 22 years old, but will remain unnamed as many of you may remember her.) It was not a pleasant encounter like bumping into a friend on the street; this was an awkward heartbreaking reunion. She was downtown for only one reason…she was working as a prostitute (see footnote). The especially, heartbreaking part was that she was raised in the church and claims to know Jesus Christ. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but said she had no choice. No choice! I was filled with all the self-righteous anger and disgust of a Pharisee. She started to get teary-eyed, and almost crying said "please listen to me". I immediately realized that I was not reflecting Christ, and that I was not filled with a compassion or love for her. I realized that I was angry because it offended me, and that I had invested time, resources, and prayer into this young lady; and I wasn't getting the return on my investment that I expected. Then there was the fact that her actions were reflecting a failure on our my part. If I would have prayed harder, or with more faith, or if I would have done something different it would not have come to this. It upset me because things weren't going my way, and I wasn't getting what I wanted. This wasn't a righteous anger but a selfish judgmental anger. All kind of feelings raced through my mind, and in the end they all came back to me! Then it was like Jesus wanted to show me how incredibly selfish and self-righteous I was acting. Some how this wasn't about her anymore, it was about me! “Spencer, stop thinking about yourself; you selfish jerk, and try to love her as Christ would.” So I listened… Through her guilt, shame, and embarrassment she explained that she had been coming downtown looking for “work” for the past week. However, she wasn't able to find any “customers”. I was thanking God that she hadn't found any “customers”, but in her mind this just compounded her feelings of worthlessness; she said “I'm not even pretty enough to be a prostitute.” She continued to explain that before she made the decision to work as a prostitute she had looked for work everywhere. I knew this was probably true, because unemployment is a huge problem here. She said one of the cosmetic factories had offered her work, but they would only allow her to work fourteen hours a week, and only paid $.75 an hour. (They keep it under fifteen hours a week so they don't have to pay the minimum wage or offer benefits). The $11.25 a week would barely make a difference. She explained that they had no food in the house, and many nights her child went to bed crying of hunger, which broke her heart. She explained that her father, who once was a leader in her church, had ruined his life with drugs and alcohol, and was no longer helping support her mother. So in turn her mother, with whom she is currently living, was going to start charging her, and her five year old son, $150 a month, to help with the cost of food, mortgage, and utilities.

Listening to her story, I realized, I could not judge her. I knew what she was doing was wrong, but so did she. I've never been in a situation where I was unable to provide for my family. I can't even imagine what it would be like to walk a mile in her shoes. Granted, sometimes my children complain about not eating the food they want; sometimes when things are a little tight…rice and beans tend to show-up on the menu more frequently than they would like; but we have never gone hungry. I've never been in a position where there just weren't any evident solutions. Back home you can almost always find some type of work. Plus, there is social welfare and other forms of assistance. However, if I were in her shoes…what would I be tempted to do? At that moment, I decided that my only action would be one of love. I prayed with her right there on the street, and she cried. I prayed that God would remind her how much He loves her and provide a solution to her problem. I prayed that she wouldn't find any clients, but would find work and then I prayed that God would help me know how to love and help her.

The cool thing is that through my experience with this young lady God has reminded me, who Christ is, and how I'm supposed to reflect Him in my life. His grace and forgiveness is greater and more powerful than all of my sin and hers! I'm not called to judge or condemn, but to love others with compassion. To love others as myself and to love them unconditionally as He has loved me. To quote an old Christian cliche "Love the sinner hate the sin", there is a lot of wisdom and truth in that statement. It's just really hard to do sometimes. So, I'm sitting here watching the rain wondering and praying what I should do. You know one of the nice things about the rain is it always stops. It’s only temporary. The darkness will subside and the sun will shine again. The birds will sing and the bright blue sky will return. You need the strength, faith, and courage to wait out the rain; and anxiously hope for the return of the sun. However, when you're standing in the rain a friend with an umbrella is a welcome sight.

(For those of you who don't know, prostitution has been legalized in Costa Rica. If you weren't sure it’s a horrible and ugly thing that has ruined the lives of many women. They fall into the trap through the temptation of making big money. Rich gringos come down and are willing to pay $100 - $150 to have sex with a young Latin woman. This is an incredible temptation, as that is about a month’s salary for many of these women. I recently read an article in the local paper about the social effects on legalizing prostitution. The sex tourism industry is a $40 million a year industry, second in the world. The typical client: North American men, between the ages of 38 – 54. Many of these men are married; we know this because now there is a problem with them being black-mailed by locals working with the prostitutes. The article said that a study showed that a large majority of the women working as prostitutes, end up addicted to drugs or alcohol within the first year. They explain that drugs and alcohol are used to mask the guilt and shame of selling their bodies for sex to strangers. It also said that STD’s and Aids are a common problem. Furthermore, 80% of the women had mothered children, and almost a third of the prostitutes were married. Join me in praying that the legislation will change and they will outlaw this horrible industry.)